Chapter 42 :

25 December, Wednesday, 2024

9:30 a.m.

Anika's POV

It's been few days since that day when I had panicked and fainted. I woke up to find myself in a hospital cabin and got to know that Arnav had brought me there. I was discharged the next day and for the next three days he took my utmost care.

He was acting weird because it wasn't usual of him taking care of me. I was tensed thinking about the presence of Nishant in Mumbai along with Arnav finding out why I fainted. But surprisingly, he didn't ask a single thing.

Today's Christmas along with Arnav's birthday. He's turning 35 today.

Since I have no office to go to, I can sit and plan a very pleasing birthday gift for him, not forgetting the gift he'd get for touching me on the day of fashion show.

I couldn't even meet my family because every fucking shit had to happen and appear that day. So they're coming here for Arnav's birthday today.

Standing up from the bed, I went downstairs to the second floor before making my way towards the library.

It's the only place I like the most in the mansion. The books are owned by Arnav and surprisingly, there are so many interesting books.

Like—books on law, physics, chemistry, history, science, code of conduct of mafia, about business etc.

So interesting right?

It's sarcasm.

I turned the door knob and entered the room only to meet the most unexpected person. Dhruv was sitting on the couch placed opposite to Arnav's study table.

He was previously reading some book but now all his attention was on me.

I closed the door and walked over to the bookshelves after smiling at him. While tracing my forefinger over the books placed on the first bookshelf, I spoke, "How're you?", my back faced him.

His reply came few moments later, "I'm good. What about you?"

I nodded, "I'm fine."

"Can you come here and sit beside me?", he asked calmly, a maturity in his voice which I had never heard years ago.

He has changed. And maybe I'm the cause of it.

I contemplated for a few moments before turning around and walked over to the couch prior to taking a seat beside him.

I looked up at him, his eyes so blank and void of any warmth. He was calm and composed, dressed in a deep blue t-shirt and white joggers. His short messy hair was scattered over his forehead, his face was clean shaved but the trace of the shaved beard was there on his face.

His features were sharper than before and indeed, he looked healthier and fitter than before. But one thing was same, his chestnut brown eyes still glimmered.

"You have changed", I spoke in a low tone, my eyes finally fixed to his eyes.

It wasn't that harder for me to believe that he's my brother-in-law now. It was hard during the initial days but it's been long now and I've adjusted.

He smiled, "You too. You're not that Anika who was mine. You're my brother's wife now."

His tone was calm but it did reflect the pain he hid. I glanced away because of the lump forming in my throat.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I didn't mean to", he spoke concerned.

Looking back at him I shook my head, "No it's fine. It's the truth anyways."

He nodded, "One question has been eating me out since I've seen you during Teej. Can I ask?", his tone was again calm but a hint of uncertainty hung on his face. I knew he can hide his emotions infront of the world but me. He's always been true and raw infront of me.

I nodded.

"Do—do you still love me?", he asked, while I didn't fail to notice the lump running down his throat.

I remained silent, my eyes fixed to his. None of us spoke anything further but all we did was stare at each other. His eyes held uncertainty and a bit of hope while mine, they held just ambivalence.

Had it been 2019, I'd have confessed without a doubt that 'I loved him'. And about him, he wouldn't have even asked this question. This is how true and pure our love was. We were imperfect in our own ways but still we worked to fit with each other and we did. We changed for each other.

The hope in his eyes shattered my heart. I don't know why it was getting so hard to answer the question. A weird feeling, I don't know if it's guilt, is consuming me and I can't find any word to answer his question. When I hadn't known Arnav I was very sure that I loved Dhruv but after meeting Arnav, I again met Dhruv then why the fuck am I hesitating to acknowledge my feelings for him?

"I don't know. I—it's been long since I admitted that so I need time to think about it", I simply answered looking down at my lap.

I wasn't so awkward before.

There was silence again. Not getting any answer, I looked up to find his eyes all blank, again. The hope that was shining in his eyes a while ago had deemed.

"It's fine. Take your time. Just know that I still love you. I thought I'd lose my memories after waking up but I didn't. I don't know if it's good or bad", he answered with a chuckle, staring down at his lap.

Sniffing once he rubbed the tip of his nose with his thumb and smiled at me, "I love you Anika."

My heart skipped a beat. I don't know why it did but it did. I remained silent, not speaking anything. I was dazed until I realised that a pair of warm lips were on mine.

My eyes widened in realization. He was kissing me.

I quickly pushed him away and almost yelled, "What the heck Dhruv? What're you doing? I'm your bhabhi. It's completely wrong. Listen one thing. I'm married and my husband is Arnav, your elder brother. You're my brother-in-law and that's it. I'm maintaing the distance and fulfilling the duties of a bhabhi to both you and Aisha. So I expect the same from you. Please", my tone was stern.

He didn't respond but I could see guilt in them.

He nodded looking away, "I know. I'm really sorry bh—bhabhi. I didn't mean to. I was—just-", he stopped.

"Whatever happened should remain between us. Forget it. We were lovers in the past but things have changed now. Those days are memories now and sometimes things are better as memories", I replied calmly before walking out not waiting for his answer.

My heart was thumping in my chest after speaking like that. It was hard to remember those golden days because him and I are no more like that. It hurts but if it was because I don't know about my feelings for him or because of something else, I don't know.

Wiping away the tear drop, I walked downstairs to see the arrangement for the party today evening.

•

"Is it ready?", I asked the maid who was handling the cake.

She nodded, "Yes ma'am. It's done."

I smirked at the cake infront of me. It was a three layered cake made of egg and cashew paste. It seemed like a simple nutty vanilla cake but it's a special kind for Arnav.

Dusting off my hands, I walked out of the kitchen to our bedroom.

Once inside the bedroom, I closed the door properly before sitting down on the bed and took out the red diary that belonged to my biological mother from my suitcase.

It was very old but seemed very preciously kept. Running my hand over the cover, I opened the very first page. But the weird thing was that many pages from the front were already torn.

14 April, 1990

7:30 a.m.

Today is the day finally. I'm finally marrying the love of my life. He's the best man a woman could ask for. It's been seven years of our love and finally we are trying knots.

I'll finally call him my husband now, after calling him my boyfriend for years. I'm really happy.

We have so many things to do together after our marriage. We had planned a lot of things during our relationship years and now it's time to fulfill them one by one. And the most special wish is holding his baby in my womb.

                  -Maithili Singh Rathore

She had a love  marriage with my father that means. She seemed so in love with him and the excitement was visible in her words. I smiled.

I flipped over a few pages and landed on the page written after one year.

20 July, 1991

4:30 p.m.

Today Ajay and I went to the market. It was a huge one and we were shopping for our daily needs. But I have a surprise for him. While he'd shop for grocery, I'll buy some gifts and I ingredients to make a cake for him. It's his birthday today afterall.

He's been the best other half of mine and whatever I'll do for him would be nothing compared to what he has given me. He's so special.

Even if we had a love marriage, our families never denied our marriage. They are very supportive.

So once we reach home, I'll send him outside for something and I'll do the preparation. I'm nervous and excited.

                 -Maithili Singh Rathore

I chuckled at her excitement. She was very young at that time. Who'd say that this is a married woman and not a child? Such a lovely marriage she had.

Then I flipped a few pages to one year later because the pages in between had nothing much but her daily things written and the gap of the dates were wide. She barely wrote.

2 August 1992

11:30 p.m.

You know today him and I went to celebrate my success. I've published my recent book called 'A Tender Soul'. It's about how the life is of a normal married woman. It's a simple novel.

He always celebrates my success so do I. He was recently promoted to the HOD of the company he works in. We didn't promise to stay by each other for nothing after all.

As a wife I make the house he had built a home, make the food out of the grocery he brings etc. But that's not all. I help him in his work too. Whenever he needs me to help him with office stuff, I'm always there.

Like how he is when I make food and he helps me too. He does the dishes, cleans the house sometimes too and also helps me get new ideas for my books.

                  -Maithili Singh Rathore

I flipped over to few more pages and stumbled upon something I never thought I would.

21 February 1993

3:30 a.m.

Who knows when life brings the most unexpected turns? The happy life one is living can take a 360° turn the next moment. The happily built life can get shattered too.

That's what's happening to Ajay and me. From the last one month, him and I are having so many problems.

My family had come to our home one week ago after forcing me to divorce Ajay since last one month. I don't know who gave them evidences of Ajay cheating on me with his coworker.

They had got an envelope which had so many photos of him and a woman. It looked like they were kissing in some pictures and in other pictures their positions seemed intimate. But I trust my man.

He's my husband and I trust him more than anyone.

I don't know who's doing this out of jealousy but whatever that person has done, has for sure ruined my life. My career is getting ruined, and my family is getting disrupted.

I don't know why but my family is believing those pictures and are forcing me to divorce him. They have even filed a complaint against him.

I'm completely broken now. Everything seems so messed up. But Ajay hasn't left my side. He's still my support. So we have decided to run away. We will run away from here to somewhere very far so that no one can find us. No jealousy, no hatred, nothing.

Just peace.

                  -Maithili Singh Rathore

Her words proved how much she had loved my father. The way they supported each other despite the world trying to break them apart, proved their unconditional and pure love for each other.

It ached my heart that it was just the starting of their married life and some bastard has already started to ruin them.

The next few pages were blank and then there was one page written. I flipped it only to find the rest of the pages blank. Nothing was written anymore. So I flipped back to the page.

28 June 1998

8:30 a.m.

Today my princess was born. My prayers to God for a daughter was successful. She's so beautiful. She's got my eyes, her father says that. But her nose and eye colour is of him. He said that she has got my lips's structure.

She looks just like the angel I imagined her to be. My son, Vikram, was so happy to see his baby sister. He was overjoyed because he's an elder brother now.

Ajay and I are also very happy and blessed to welcome our second child who's a girl.

During the pregnancy days I had even written a book on how a soon-to-be mother feels and what she goes through during her pregnancy. The dreams and wishes she has.

Ajay took my utmost care. After we had ran away, it was hard for us to find a house in LA. We were living in the outskirts because we had to stay hidden. Both of our families are powerful and must've been searching for us.

Just after two years of our runaway, I got pregnant. I was scared because it was my first time but Ajay was always there to be the best husband he is. He was so supportive that I didn't need to worry and without knowing the time passed and I gave birth to a beautiful boy whom we names Vikram.

Anika and Vikram, Maithili and Ajay. Now our family is complete.

I want to see our children going to school together, getting successful and one day, successfully married. God bless them.

9:30 p.m.

I'm so sorry my dear children. Your mother couldn't fight anymore. I didn't expect the person who had messed up Ajay and my life years ago to be someone we already knew and had thought to be a nice person.

My children remember that mumma loves you.

I can't write anymore. To whoever reads this needs to know that I was murdered. I didn't die naturally.

It was huge plan. He is

And there was nothing more written. I didn't know when tears had already streamed down my face. She must've cried while writing this particular diary because there were smudged ink spots. She was so happy but God has decided to take away her happiness.

She couldn't even live the dream of being a mother.

My mother was snatched away from me. On the next day of my birth my mother died. What can be more worse?

How much more can fate be cruel? During her last breaths also she loved us. Pure souls indeed don't have any place on the earth.

My throat ached but at the same time the veins throbbed in hatred and anger. The bastard who killed her will die in my hands and that's a promise.

I'll kill him so slowly and painfully that he'd beg for his death but it'd seem too precious to receive easily.

A sob escaped my lips.

Closing the diary I kept it inside the suitcase and ran into the bathroom before closing it. Just when the door closed, I fell on the floor.

I covered my mouth with my palms to prevent the sobs form echoing but the pain in my heart and throat seemed to increase each passing second. My head felt like exploding with pain.

It was getting so hard. I was betrayed by my own life. God could have taken my life away and given that to my mother but no. He had other plans.

I don't know what to do. It hurts damn, it fucking hurts. Why don't I just die? Would everything be solved if I die? Why'd someone kill her? She was so innocent and pure. What was her fault?

After a long time of crying, I got up from the floor. The floor was wet and cold which had eventually dropped my body temperature but it didn't matter to me. All that mattered was my mother was snatched from me and I need revenge for that.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

Eyes were puffed and slightly red, lips were swollen and my cheeks were tear stained. I seemed so broken and weak but the anger bubbling in my chest burnt my veins.

My jaws twitched because of the constant hard gritting of my teeth. My fists tightened on the sink edge.

She couldn't write his name but I will find him no matter what.

That bastard played so well that he made me hate my own father when he wasn't even at fault. He didn't deserve that hate but still kept taking it silently. He must've been so hurt.

I hate myself for doing that. It breaks my heart that I couldn't even give a bit of happiness to my alive father.

My feelings are so messed up right now that I feel like breaking everything that is infront of me but I can't. I need to control myself.

That bloody dickhead can start counting his days backwards because it's time to descend to hell. Bloody motherfucker.

Washing my face, I got fresh and went out to take some rest.