Chapter 29 :

Arnav's POV

I couldn't perceive what I heard. If I'm not mistaken, she for sure took someone else's name just now.

Who's Nishant? Did I really miss something about her in her biodata?

I didn't know why but the moment she begged me at my feet not to go ahead, my heart clenched. In a fit of rage and hatred, I was about to commit something I wouldn't have forgiven myself for.

No matter how much I despised her, I wasn't a man to stoop too low to force myself on my wife. Yes, she's my wife and I consider her as one even if I don't say this to her.

I kept staring at her blankly, fallen on feet begging for mercy. It bothered me to see her like that even if it was my intention to break her beyond possible for what she did to my brother.

Ignoring the uneasiness, I stepped back clenching my jaws and fists because I was loathing myself for doing this; for making her think that I'd do something so horrible.

A woman after getting married trusts her husband no matter what and believes that he'd protect her against all the odds no matter how strong she is. But I, I never made her feel safe with me. Never gave her any respect and didn't even value her at all.

All I did was throw insults after insults at her and hurt her so much that she was in this condition today.

Today, I blame myself.

Looking away, I walked out of the room before storming down the stairs. On my way I came across Mia, the head of the maids.

Stopping on my way, I spoke, "Ms. Mia, go and check on your madam." And with that I left.

I wanted to hit myself for hurting her like that. I don't know why I'm feeling so guilty when it was my intention to break her. I shouldn't have been bothered right?

I had already claimed in front of her to divorce her and marry Arshi after one year but even that feels wrong now.

The conflicting emotions frustrated me way too much that I ended up driving my Mustang at a dangerous speed. The break might fail and I might die without repenting for my sins but right now I'm losing my mind.

Everything feels so messed up and I feel too lost between them to even think straight. But all I just know is that I can't forgive myself for how I made her feel today no matter how much I hate her. If it had been Aisha in her place, and in my place it had been some other man, I'd have given him such a death that even hell might lag behind.

Then how could I do that?

Gritting my teeth, I punched the steering wheel before parking the car by the road, a serene river flowing peacefully by it.

I'm all alone right now and this would be a golden chance for my enemies to get rid of me. I wouldn't have regretted it if I had died in some other situation but right now, if I die, I would regret it.

I accept it's my fault and I'll apologize to her. She's my wife and when the husband himself is crushing the dignity of his wife then who would care about her? Any stranger can come and throw some harsh words at her and leave. It doesn't matter if she can stand for herself, but when the dignity is hurt by a random person from the street, it's awfully heartbreaking and painful to bear.

Stepping out of my car, I walked over to the border of the road disappearing into the river in front of me.

Sitting down on the river bank, I stared at the flowing river, my thoughts flowing along bringing back all the events I went through in the evening.

Even if I was furious, a hint of pain and disgust calmed down the fury burning in my veins. I breathed deep for a while before I finally calmed down to think properly.

I knew she was a dignified and strong woman. She'd never do anything that'd stain her character or define her as a selfish and worthless woman. She wasn't characterless. I don't know what made her cheat on my brother but she did and I hate her for that.

But about this evening, I doubted if she actually invited him to the washroom.

She didn't.

Yes, she didn't.

I knew Hogwarts was a man with lust and greed. I had signed a deal with him because there was something he needed to pay for but I, like a dumb fucker, believed his lies in a fit of rage and hurt my wife. I yelled at her, pointed at her character and what not. I crossed my limits to hurt her despite her resilience to stay put and strong for herself. When everyone around her was against her, she stood for herself. She was such a woman and yet, I looked over it. I was believing nonsense when she was begging me to believe her. I hurt her and yet, she trusted me the most in her time of problem.

Why didn't I believe those true tears and that shaky voice instead of those pseudo words?

Covering my face with my palms, I sighed.

How will apologise to her now? Will she even forgive me?

It's fine if she doesn't. As a human, even if heartless, I can understand her if she hates and slaps me when I ask for her forgiveness.

Jealousy is a dangerous thing. It can turn a happily running life into ashes. And today, I turned everything that was stable between us into ashes.

And she talked about rape and....why did she say 'again'? Was she...raped?

I froze.

•

July 7, Sunday, 2024

6:45 a.m.



"Ma'am, master is expecting you in his study room", announced the maid who served me my morning tea.

I just nodded mixing the sugar in my tea, my eyes fixed on the garden down there, as I silently sat in my room's balcony.

"Inform him I'm coming after twenty minutes", I replied as she was about to depart. She bowed in response and left.

After hurting me again, he disappeared for more than one week. It's been over one month of our marriage already but the wild ride of existence I had been through became a lifetime memory for me.

Finishing my tea, I went to take a bath.

I just opted for a black oversized shirt over black shorts. My wet hair was open, reaching till my mid waist as I went downstairs to the second floor.

It's Sunday today so I'm free except for the virtual meeting I have in the evening.

I don't know why out of the blue he wishes to see me after what he reminded me of on my very birthday. I scoffed at his thoughts because now, I actually felt disgusted by his presence. I hate him.

Once I stood in front of the door, I pulled down the handle and entered the room without any permission.

I wasn't surprised to see Arshi already there. She's just too good at following him rather than focusing on her job. Short glancing at her, I fixed my gaze on him. He was seated on his chair, wearing a deep sap green translucent shirt and black joggers, his ex-fiancée standing by his chair clad in a white  short pencil skirt and fitting pink shirt with white platform heels.

"I heard you expected me?", I asked.

Taking off his glasses, he nodded before gently asking her to go out, to my actual surprise he didn't touch her for once. She just rolled her eyes at me before walking out.

Her character is matching to those typical Indian serial villains though.

"Have a seat", he spoke pointing at the couch behind me.

Folding my hand in front of my chest I replied, "I have work to be done before I take out some time for your bullshits", my reply was rude and I  expected his outburst but today I was ready to throw tight slaps after slaps if he got in my nerves.

But again to my surprise, he didn't get furious but calmly stared back at me before nodding.

"You actually consider it as a disrespect to your reputation when you're standing and someone in front of you is sitting, for, you own high standards and a good reputation. So I insist you to sit", he pointed to a practical answer.

I nodded before sitting down on the couch. Crossing my legs, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and indicated with my chin for him to speak.

"Answer me what I ask. Without any hesitation or keeping secrets", he spoke sternly before focusing his gaze on me. I won't lie if they didn't send shivers down my spine but I remained silent.

"Who's Nishant?", he asked.

The emotionless expression I was bearing a while ago felt like fading away from my face as my face muscles loosened. I felt myself going pale as cold fear consumed me.

"It's not related to you", I replied sternly. No matter if I was shaking from inside, I still tried to stay strong and brave.

"I asked you to answer without keeping secrets. Answer me who's Nishant?", he warned again.

I sighed and remained silent. Rubbing his hands over his face, he sighed heavily before getting up from his chair as he strode towards me.

I sat at my place, staring at him.

Nearing me, he pulled me up from my place as I gasped. Not letting me react any soon, he sat down on my previous place before pulling me down on his lap. His arms encircled my waist before I was pulled near, my womanhood brushing against his crotch. My legs automatically were wrapped around his waist and my arms around his neck. I was still in shock when he stared straight into my eyes.

"Now answer me doll. Who's he? If you don't answer, I have my ways", he spoke, warning again.

I rolled my eyes, hating his dominating side. I felt irritated and more to that, I felt furious that after that night, he still had the audacity to touch me.

Gritting my teeth, I unwrapped my arms before I tried to push him in order to get down from his lap.

But in return, he tightened his grip around my waist before he flipped our positions.

Now I was lying on the couch with him on top of me, my hands over my head and his legs in between mine. While his one hand locked my wrists, the other one kept him balanced.

My breath was stuck at my throat while I was anticipating what he was going to do. I was scared but I didn't fear him. I was scared of the things he'd do that might bring back those wounded memories and I might break down in front of him.

His balancing hand went past my face, to get something from the side drawer table placed in front of my head, as I blankly stared at him. His sole focus was on the thing he was looking for in the drawer, a calm and composed look etched to his face.

Once he found it, he closed the drawer and without letting me see it, he started his work. I frowned feeling something cold and silky against my wrists and it didn't take me time to realise that he had tied up my wrists with some fabric sort of thing.

"Arnav what the hell are you doing? Why are you tying me up?", I yelled at him, wiggling under him to get out of his grip. I tried but to no avail. He has again trapped in a way I couldn't get out of.

He didn't reply at all and kept focused on his work until he was done. Once done, he lightly pressed on the tied wrists of mine to keep them in place, and the other hand held the right side of my waist. His eyes bore into mine, the silence in the room disturbed by my furious breaths. He was calm but not in a normal way. A type of flame burned in his eyes, which I couldn't perceive.

"Why are you doing this? After that night, you ran away. Then why? Why are you here?", I asked, my voice was just a bit above a whisper.

His grey eyes casted some unknown spell on me. My anger calmed down and all I could wish for at the moment was stare at them. They were actually beautiful and I didn't know how I went to so many extents just to save him and get to see this cruelly beautiful sight. His beauty is cruel, for, they have witnessed the most horrible bloody murders and tortures, but at the same time they're beautiful because of the calmness and serenity they hide.

My gaze went to his right eye before it tripped over to the left one until it ended up on his lips. A small tug was on his lips.

"Where's that furious woman who was yelling at me?", he whispered against my lips, as he leaned in.

I let my eyes meet his ones, before I locked them.

"Using my energy on someone so undeserving isn't my thing. So I stopped", I just replied.

No matter the bitter reality we shared, the proximity between us right now seemed to pull us closer to each other. Even if I don't admit it, his warmth made me feel at ease, despite how bitter his behaviour is. His skin against mine felt good which I hated to feel. I hated myself for reacting to his touch in such a way that I hate it.

I couldn't believe that it was me who was slowly giving in to the person who had done nothing but dig into my past and those wounds. Being a mature person, I was behaving like a teenager eager to get touched by their partner. Like how they give in so easily because of the lack of understanding of reality, I was also somehow doing the same. I didn't expect from me to cross the boundary to become a mindless teenager.

His thumb made circles on my waist, my breath shaking with each passing second.

He didn't even say anything but leaned down to my neck before planting a soft kiss on my nape.

My eyes closed as I gasped. That kiss wasn't the last one but the one that led to a trail of chaste kisses all over my neck before he bit on my neck at the end. I hissed with a low groan, my teeth clamped down on my lower lip to suppress a moan.

He then gave a slow lick to the stinging part, followed by his sucking to ease the pain. At the spur of the moment, I seemed to forget how I actually saw him as—a heartless brute.

Even if my will power protested to push him away, it was much weaker than the desires swirling inside me right now. I have never had an intimate moment in the past five years.

His hand slipped from my waist to my upper thighs, before he caressed the skin softly over my shorts' fabric as it slid under my shirt, caressing my bare waist.

I shivered at the sensation of his rough thumb over my soft skin. His cold fingertips traced the outline of my waist, a slow and sensual touch giving me goosebumps. His fingers didn't stop on my waist but moved up to the side of my breasts. He caressed my skin over the ribs and I unknowingly arched my back at the feeling. The coldness of his skin was a stark contrast against my warm one, which was growing hotter because of the intimacy.

The feeling of his wet lips all over my neck and his finger caressing my skin gently felt very overwhelming and dizzy. It was as if his touches had blocked my mind from thinking straight. I don't know if I should call this relationship a toxic one or something else.

Once my neck was stinging all over, he let his kisses trail from my neck's skin to my cheek. The wet trails were left behind and the heat of the moment made us forget about our burning hatred.

Letting go of my tied wrists, he held my waist from both the sides while moving them up and down making me feel weaker.

"Now tell me, who's he?", he whispered in my ear.

I had already lost my mind and I didn't even realise when I spat put, "My ex-boyfriend."

The very next moment realisation hit me as I shot open my eyes. My eyes were wide as regret immediately filled me. My heart was beating fast both because of the moment we shared just now and what I spat in the spur of the heated moment.

He was a manipulator. He used seduction to manipulate me just to get his answer. This much realization was enough for me to get furious and push him away.

He sat back on the couch, as I sat up. Even the air conditioned room seemed not enough to cool down the heat.

Short glancing at my tied up wrists, I shot him a glare as I gritted, "You fucking used such a cheap way to get your answer."

"It's because you weren't answering straight", he replied calmly staring at me. He sat so casually as if nothing happened a while ago.

"You serious? You for heaven's sake seduced me to get your take done? How low of you to do that", I scoffed in disbelief, "Who knew that the great Arnav Rai Mehrotra uses seduction for his benefit."

He chuckled, "It's not for my enemies but only for my wife. And you did enjoy it. Didn't you?"

I clenched my jaws as I continued glaring at him. My veins throbbed with so much fury that I wished to hit him right away.

"I don't believe and no. I didn't enjoy it, I replied.

"Oh! But your moaning said otherwise", he replied smirking at me.

"For God's sake, we ain't kids to act so immaturely. Can't you talk straight and not use your useless tactics to get your work done? We ain't fictional characters to behave in a way that looks good in books. Can you be real?", I asked feeling frustrated because of his carefree behaviour.

His smirk disappeared replaced by a stoic face and his eyes darkened. I don't know what made him change like that suddenly.

"If you want to behave like adults then know how to answer straight and not keep mum", he replied.

I scoffed,"Yes sure. But adults have privacy and you should know that. Nishant is a matter of my own and you don't need to interfere."

He scoffed this time, "I don't possess any interest in interfering in your business. This line would've implied if you and I weren't married but now we are. I don't care if it's contractual or something but we are married and our lives are too much connected to be left unseen. So your problems are mine and I'll interfere when needed", he replied facing me.

I was astonished by his words. The man who didn't even consider me as a human during the first few days of our marriage now out of the blue considers my problems as his? Who changed him like that? He seemed nothing but sincere. His tone was serious and that gaze held something more than anger and hatred. I don't know.

I didn't know whether I should laugh or scoff at him. He's acting so differently right now that it's hard for me to believe and digest. This frustrated and infuriated me.

"How out of the blue my problems became yours? How did that baseless marriage, is what you yourself called, become an actual marriage? I was facing my problems on my own and you put that in your head that I'm enough for myself. You can stay away and enjoy your life with your ex-fiancée. She's already hating me and you don't make her another obstacle in my life. I neither relate to her nor I would like to befriend her.

You were the one to hurt me all the time and now just don't talk nonsense to show your care for me. You actually brought back my past and made me go through so much that I had to go through panic attacks for days. And what did you do after that? You just disappeared after the very night. You hurt me so damn much but I kept numb just because I considered it as my punishment for hurting your brother.

And if you had been a real husband, you wouldn't have made me feel so unsafe and scared like that night. You actually behaved like my damn pervert psycho ex", I yelled at the top of my lungs. I was standing on my feet with my wrists still tied. Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks and my heart was beating vigorously against my chest.

All these were nothing but the pent up emotions stirring inside my chest which came out after his words triggered them. I was very much hurt and I had to let it out. I was a human too after all. I can't always keep silent and handle everything all alone.

I didn't care about the fact that all the time he just sat silently and kept staring at me blankly. Not a single muscle moved on his face during and after my outburst. But I felt lighter than before.

He sighed while pressing on his nose bridge.

Opening his eyes, he looked up at me and spoke softly, "If you're feeling lighter, then sit down and calm down. Okay doll?", his tone was surprisingly calm.

I didn't say anything but sat down, my head hanging low, my eyes closed, more tears streaming down my face.

"Here", his hand forwarding a glass of water came into my view.

I looked up at him, my vision still blurry.

He bit on his lower lip before bringing the glass near my lips. I didn't protest but let him make me drink the glass of water. My throat was hurting after yelling so much.

Once the glass was empty, he kept it back on the coffee table in front of us before facing me again.

Taking my tied up wrists in his hold, he silently untied them before pulling me on him. I was again surprised but even before I moved away, he had pulled me on his chest. My back was resting on his chest and his arms  were resting over mine, which were resting on my stomach.

He caressed the bruised part on both of my wrists as he spoke softly against my ear, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I made you feel and go through that night", his tone seemed sincere.